It is not shallow for guys to break off if the girl refuses regular sex.

[superstiffy]

based on my life experience... i can share this... maybe is not what you want to hear but reality is harsh...

girls that say sex is not everything actually mean that sex with you is nothing. if she enjoy she wont complain too much sex.. maybe she wont ask for more but she wont kpkb if the man want everyday... but if the man buay kan.. the girl confirm sian... but dun want to break ego so just say sex is not everything.. get it?

man that break off just because of sex only really is sibei shallow... u think your partner is kuay ah? u all together only because of sex? it is nearly impossible to find a partner that is perfect leh... if personality is gd but sex is lousy then go find other ways to settle la... if sex is good but personality is jia lat then convert her to fb and go find another with suitable personality...

i have experience many things this life... so just sharing so others no need to waste time try to figure out... but younger generation like to blame pple.. thats y sibei entitled... but once they learn a hard lesson they will understand... just a journey in life that they havent reach yet..

[Anonyabc]

Originally Posted by Logan

Need to change the in bold part, as incorrectly phrased.

She finds guys who likes sex frequently shallow.
Frequent is more than once a week.

Mine opposite...partner wants it 3 times a week, twice a day...LOL

If not she think I looking for other targets

[thedevil666]

Originally Posted by TeaSpoon

Had one before, she uses sex as a reward if I do things for her, otherwise barely any action.
Not buy things for her but like wear differently, or wait for her, cut the hair in another style.
As time passed, found that she was always tit for tat on sex.

That relationship did not last long.

I presume how u guys associate or communicate love is different. Glad u found out and cut ties.

This is an interesting concept. Applies to most relationship.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages

[Gentle Beast]

Back to the days when I was in my twenties and looking for love, I will find a girl who flirts, teases me with sex extremely sexy and desirable. How & why would I want to be with someone, who thinks of me as 'shallow' when I begin to caress her, hinting of 'let's enjoy sex'? It is such a turn off if it happens over and over again.

[Anonyabc]

Originally Posted by Gentle Beast

Back to the days when I was in my twenties and looking for love, I will find a girl who flirts, teases me with sex extremely sexy and desirable. How & why would I want to be with someone, who thinks of me as 'shallow' when I begin to caress her, hinting of 'let's enjoy sex'? It is such a turn off if it happens over and over again.

yeah kinda reminded me, was with a girl for a year without sex, not even BJ...den ya la what happened is history liao

[Dignified69]

Oh give it a break. This has red flag written all over it. Just basic common sense to break off. This is the sort of person after marriage or kids will close shop. This is the sort of person who gives women a bad name and is one of the reasons why Geylang exists.

[JadedMale]

I can't make it on just once a week, rather be the shallowest guy there is than be deprived of wonderful feel of lovemaking, twice per week, twice per day. At least.

Maybe when older can try weekly, or try weakly

[TeaSpoon]

Originally Posted by thedevil666

I presume how u guys associate or communicate love is different. Glad u found out and cut ties.

It is strange when you find out that there is an attempt to train you like a puppy.
Obey and get rewards.
She was trying to change me into what she wanted me to be, who I was, did not matter.
What I eventually did become, was her ex.

[Teine]

Remember a gf I had, die die will not do during period, even coming soon or just after.
Says will bring bad luck to me, cannot.
And she really meant it, too adorable for me to be frustrated. Good HJ makes up for it.

[Rolled]

I agree that it'a not shallow at all. At the dating phase sometimes people overlook certain things and feel love can conquer everything. Then once you get married and get stuck together because of kids, you will start looking back and think if this relationship is compatible in tje first place.

It comes to a point then, either the guy choose to keep the family but live a double life, or decides that he can't live any longer like this and want to divorce. Idk which is worse but I guess it's the reality of life.

[junior_cannibal]

It's rather unfortunate if I were to say, most Singapore women are more jaded than their other Asian counterparts. They will say or demand
1 I will only have sex with you when I am in the mood
2 I don't want to know you go to ktv or pub to find cheap thrill
3 I hate to know you pcc by watching porn
4 don't ever let me catch you flirt with my BFF
....
TS, your friend indeed did the right thing. Maybe he indeed didn't give great sex to his ex that's why she's not keen. However, unless he's very experienced in sex and well endowed, otherwise, what to expect?
Some girls can be easily aroused and to achieve orgasm, whereas others might not. If this ex belongs to the latter, and your friend is the type that not much foreplay and shoots within 3 minute, that ex can be super sian to have sex with him. Only the two of them know the real reason.
Communication is key before deciding to continue or to end.

[avantas]

I find some of comments here damn funny.

I hold 2 positions on this:

1. Sex is essential for any relationship, but over time, the frequency will drop even for the most loving of couples due to simple boredom or physical / health issues. However this should never be a precursor at the beginning of a relationship.

2. Only a woman with low self-esteem will attempt to use sex as part of a rewards system to control men. No man should condone this, sex after marriage is already a myth now, even though red pill theory mentions that women with low body count are valuable, the circumstances involved are ridiculous.

Example: a 20 year old man often do not have value or status. He will ask for women to believe in his potential and commitment in exchange for sex and affirmation, but this will often attract average to low value women at that stage and bring another later dilemma in the event if the young man actually becomes successful. He will need to determine if he feels like dropping the woman who accepted his potential earlier on, for a higher value women. This relationship would only work out if both parties acknowledge they are average to low value in the dating market.

Therefore, if the man is already dating to level or lower, he should not allow the woman to cock block him as a control mechanism. There are plenty of low value women around. Please take note that better than average looking doesn't mean the woman is a good partner for marriage.

The Five Love Languages has always been a joke, it is a perspective that try to encourage both sexes to compromise / or delude themselves into thinking that there is no such thing as a dating / sex market place. Meaning it tries to make it sound like it is not a contextual issue, just a communication issue.

Just one more comment, avoid any woman who states that love is more important than sex. Those are heavily indoctrinated feminist; they will value their social circles' opinions more than you and is basically the inverse nature of low body counts aka purposely avoid having sex which impacts the physical and pair bonding between couples with a refusal to submit.

The correct statement should always be "Sex is part of heterosexual Love". You don't love me enough if you choose to avoid sex. This statement also addresses the scenario where the women doesn't enjoy the sex, cos she doesn't love you enough to try to make the sex enjoyable for herself.

[Angmolover]

Originally Posted by Logan

GF of good buddy recently whatsapp me, told me he broke it off and asked if anything I could do to help her.
Was surprised, cos they just went on extended weekend trip to Thailand somewhere.
When buddy reached home after trip, told the girl they are no longer together. Reason, not compatible.

Long story short, my buddy did not say much, just if basic needs are not met, no point.
Most details got from girl.

Over the 5 days vacation, only had sex once.
Girl would be unhappy if guy wanted more, say gf is not just for sex.
Over 6 months into relationship, about once per 2 weeks to a month.

I told her, what did you expect ? Do you not like sex or what.
She likes it, but finds that guys who like it are shallow.(In bold wrong phrasing. Should be she feels guys who like frequent sex, more than once a week are shallow)
Refuses to change her mind or see it from another pov no matter what I said, just kept repeating it is very shallow to break up because of sex. And a guy would understand and accept it if he really loved someone.

Reverse logic don't apply. It is a thing her clique of mid 20s friends are into.
At the same time, kept asking me to help patch things up, to change my friend's mind, counsel him to not be shallow.

Which is what got me irritated and very annoyed.
I told her I would counsel him to not patch up no matter what.
She blocked me after that msg.

Ladies, it is not shallow for us guys to break up over lack of sex.
Sex is basic instinct, and it is damn fun to have and also a good way to enhance the relationship.

Single Bros, if you current partner is withholding or rationing it, don't hope for things to get better in the future or after marriage.
Be like my friend and move on.

Married Bros.....may the tranquility be with you ?

Why u come here and give third hand account of your "good buddy" sex problems with his GF? Why u so kaypoh? U don't have GF yourself izzit? Are u bapok or virgin?

[ilovepantyhose]

Originally Posted by Teine

Remember a gf I had, die die will not do during period, even coming soon or just after.
Says will bring bad luck to me, cannot.
And she really meant it, too adorable for me to be frustrated. Good HJ makes up for it.

no bj? she wore braces?

[Cynus]

Originally Posted by avantas

1. Sex is essential for any relationship, but over time, the frequency will drop even for the most loving of couples due to simple boredom or physical / health issues. However this should never be a precursor at the beginning of a relationship.

Very much agree with this

Originally Posted by avantas

Therefore, if the man is already dating to level or lower, he should not allow the woman to cock block him as a control mechanism.

Dating to any level, cock block will always be no no.

Some of the rest still digesting.