Does commercial sex prevent you from bothering with dating normally?

[Peacekeeping]

Originally Posted by sbwow

A few years ago, you weren't saying this.
Glad you got enlightened. HAHAHA.

Don’t expose me haha. I never expected anyone to follow me for years. Having too much fun can change your thinking

[Laker]

My answer is a yes. In paid commercial sex, the job is to make the customer happy e.g. MLs will talk to you, listen to your stories and usually don't tell the hard truths even if they know it.

I encountered MLs who rebut my statement e.g. I said why massage and hj are 2 diff people. The massage portion was done by a fat lady and hj is the actual person and I said I didn't like the experience. In her defence, she said in sales, you don't get serviced by the same sales person all the time. So what's your problem? Guess if I will go back again?

In dating, the I realised I need to switch my mentality and approach. The ladies are also looking for someone to be with long term so they don't try too hard to say things to make you feel good or avoid conflict. In dating of course you also need to pay for meals once in a while and buy presenta during important occasions. Also need to spend some effort to say things to make them feel better if they had a bad day.

On a side note, it reminds me of the time my intern in Japan mentioned that she spends 1.5k USD a week to talk to male hosts. Those that sit down with you to talk as long as you keep buying drinks. She was doing this when she was still a student. She liked it compared to guys in her faculty who "don't understand her". Guess the parents give her a lot of freedom.

So yes, if you understand the key differences on commercial sex and dating, then it should not affect that much.

[tynom32]

I still quite new to this, but so far doesn't affect ah, I still crave an intimate, close partner to spend my life with.
My opinion might change in the future as I get more experienced. As for now, commercial sex doesn't satisfy my emotional needs I feel, high gfe is great and all but its not the same as truly connecting and being present with someone.

[Oorb]

For people like me that fails at most commercial sex, a relationship is what I really want.
Trying commercial is like a vacation, sometimes to lesser known places, never know what you will get, but like it cause new experiences.
I need the feel before able to have a satisfying physical relationship, and the sex gets better as time goes on.

When in relationship, no commercial, but if break up, first thing is call friends and ktv

[timeliness]

I think there's a difference between fucking a WL and making love with a lover.

One is to clear the body needs, one is to clear the body and the mind 😂 it's definitely more intimate sleeping with a lover.

[Errrm]

The 2 cannot compare, not the same thing, unless in a relationship all you look for is sex.

[fatladysings]

Very subjective. In the end, any commercialised version of intimacy will have its pros and cons. As mentioned earlier, it depends on the purpose of dating. If you're out on a date and its goal is to try and get the girl in bed, then yes, for me it gets kind of dull after indulging in commercial sex. Because to me, the financial outlay might or might not be worth the dating time when factoring in food, drinks, entertainment, venue. Imagine spending close to $4-500 only to realise that its going to be a lousy lay. Whereas if you play in D1, $4-500 can get you an overnight with an average lay but one that is probably a lot prettier with at least some guarantee of service? Even if its those 1/2 shots short time, can probably go for 2-3 different girls who are to your taste.

On the other hand, if you do manage to have a good or great date, the potential savings from the girl becoming the gf/fwb or whatever is also to be considered. So it really depends on your reasons behind dating.

[babyjohnwong]

"Have any of you here found yourself not bothering with romantic love/dating as a single guy anymore because of your experiences with/accesibility to commercial sex? What is your mentality about it?"

Erm, nope to a certain extent for me regarding dating and romance
I started my first WL experience in Taiwan (didn't ask for red packet though, as I didn't know such things back then) when I was 23
After that is Thailand, then started having sex in one country after another
Started out as wanting to experience what sex feels like and also to get my chance to really feel and touch a lady's body instead of just fantasising or watching videos and then pcc

I was practically single until mid 30s or so
Even though I had paid sex, I also went for countless dates as I wanted to settle down, which I did eventually
When I go for commercial sex, I could choose what kind of girl I want to have sex with, like example age, body type, looks, short or long hair, race, etc
But I still put in effort in dating and chasing after other "normal" girls

Commercial sex really did have an impact on me before and after I start chionging
Before, it was more innocent puppy love type
After, it was like I started going after girls for their looks and my perceived concept of how good they could be in bed by things such as their body type or body language, the way they look at you etc
It was more of lust as the pushing factor in choosing the girls to chase after

Commercial sex actually did not take the romantic love and dating away
But marriage and kids did, tbh
I just simply lost all my drive and motivation for romance and dating
Not really sure whether it is fatigue (getting a lot lesser sleep with kids especially babies) or starting to take things for granted
Like, after having hooked up with the girl of my dreams for life, and I do not need to put in as much effort as before, taking things for granted could be another possibility

Commercial sex also does change a person's view on sex to the extent that sometimes it is just unrealistic and very often we don't realise it, I feel...
We might end up pressurising or forcing our partners to do things that they don't wish to and hurt the relationship, if we start thinking that they should do certain things to make us feel nice
Girls doing commercial sex want to earn our money, so most of the time, they will try their best to make us happy and try do or let us do whatever we want with their bodies
But in real relationships, our partners are humans who are not trying to earn more money out of us
They may try to do things our way to make us happy, but they are also not wrong to refuse us too
Whereas for commercial sex, we pay them so rightfully they have to do what we want them to

Personally, I am of the opinion that if a person wishes to have a marriage and family some day, it is better not to go for commercial sex
Because going for commercial sex could change a person's view on sex that could be bad for relationships
What if your partner does not wish to do what you wanted, like anal sex or bondage etc? Or stops giving bj after marriage?
What if you get turned on by slim girls and specifically only bang slim girls when going on paid sex, and one day your partner is no longer slim or can't slim back anymore after giving birth?
Divorce and find a new one?
Commercial sex gives a notion and expectation of what kind of sex is good and desirable, and that it is readily available with money spent
But actual real life relationships are more of change, acceptance, give and take etc

My 5 cents worth