Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[warbird]

A young Jewish woman visits her parents and brings her fiancé to meet them.

After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his library for a drink.

"So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.
"I am a bible scholar," he says.

"A bible scholar? Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she is accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man said, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies. "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancé.

The conversation continues like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insists that God will provide.
Later, the mother asks: "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers: "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God...😜

[Hurricane88]

Latest joke going viral
🤣🤣🤣
"”””””””
New Stock Market Terms
**************************
CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no fun.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling even lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR – Past-year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

And do not forget - NYSE, which is now
NEW YORK SHOCK EXCHANGE.

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for posting nice jokes.

[malaysiapig]

Originally Posted by Owl007

Nice pussy. Thanks for sharing!

photo shop job

[Hurricane88]

[SBMEDSUP]

Love the counseling jokes.

[Hurricane88]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Hurricane88]

[Hurricane88]

[Hurricane88]

Fluctuations !!!

I was at my bank today ( in New York ) and there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too".. !!!!!

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Fluctuations !!!

I was at my bank today ( in New York ) and there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too".. !!!!!

Thanks for nice jokes

[warbird]

Granddaughter: Ah mah, ah gong has many poor aunty friends.

Ah mah: how do you know?

Granddaughter: I saw many aunties, with nothing to wear, in his handphone.

Ah Mah: 😡

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[denounce]

Originally Posted by warbird

Granddaughter: Ah mah, ah gong has many poor aunty friends.

Ah mah: how do you know?

Granddaughter: I saw many aunties, with nothing to wear, in his handphone.

Ah Mah: 😡

Lucky ah gong not together with them in the photos