2014_12_04 The "Cool Guy" that was the one Fooled. (again) - Chapter 1 [III of III]

[Plaedes]

I wanted to stop her. I wanted to say, can we talk. I wanted to kiss and make love, for her to say, Baby, I am so sorry. And in my heart, it seemed we both knew it was already over. She left in a huff of contained anger, as I promised to send her off in my mind, a final time, to see her back to my place as she walked away, facing the rising sun and blue skies at 7am like a new beginning of a changed and grown up me. I could not even look at her. I just told her, be quiet, don't wake my parents. I was defending her against so many people who are so stereo type to PRC girls, I fought hard for her, I defended her honor. And I felt stupid.


But tonight, I felt happy. That I learnt something, and it will forever be enforced in me. That I had a choice, to accept reality, to be present to the Now. That I had a choice to be happy regardless and I am already so fortunate. For that means that I deserve a better girl who will be true.



LESSONS LEARNT.

1. I was lonely and prideful after my 15 year break up. I allowed my emotions to control me, to cry in public after drinking. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and drunk, like a scorned woman.

2. I thought I was in control, and I realized, she had the control all along. I was the one waiting for her now, messaging her, visiting her, missing her, yearning for her. And I'm not even talking about sex. I told her I love you. I allowed my feelings to be open again.

3. I thought I was the cool guy with that special girl that everyone wanted, but could not, for she only wanted me. Pshh. I thought I wanted to make other women envious of her, that they wanted me but I only wanted her.

4. And I'm like a woman, who could not do things for myself, and for once in my life, I could, quit drinking as I had promised her. And humpty dumpty fall over the wall again.

5. You are still you, wherever you go. Just as I was broken, someone came along and healed my heart slowly. Just as I am picking up again, I just had to fall and break my ankle again. and again. and again. Boith my legs were ripped already. They grown back. Now, my ankles are healing. My knees are still weak.



I should have known better, than to fall in love with a Chinese dancer here for 6 months, /GRO/Salesgirl with a Target.


The "Cool Guy" that was the one Fooled. (again) - Chapter 2 (to be continued......) I did put all my feelings in.




Why am I sharing this on a Sex Forum? Because, I want the people facing these, to know, you are not alone.

Thank you for reading my post.

[Hurricane88]

you dun need 3 threads for this story...

pls write to moderator to merge 3 into one thread...or delete the other 2 threads...just use one thread...

[cumblaster]

Just read your three part post. I was in a very similar situation as you. I felt angry, hurt, betrayed and wanted her out of my house immediately too. But like you, I also wanted to hug her, hold her and say I was so very sorry. It's been nearly six months since I last spoke to her but I still miss having her around.
I too now know why some women keep going back to their no good boyfriends. I let her in and made myself vulnerable too.

I suppose time heals. I'm still waiting for my wound to close...

[Plaedes]

I hear you cumblaster, thank you for sharing. You guys are the first people to reply on my first post here! hehe

[Plaedes]

oops internet got cut. didn't know if first reply went through.

thanks for coming by hurricane88, i had a hard time posting in one thread and eventually trying to figure out where the limited words end and the story line in 3 threads.

I think there's a word limit of 1k for premium members.

I have came up with 4 more posts to share.. Hope mods can approve soon. How do other people post such long threads in 1 ?

[porscheclub]

Can you guys man up instead of behaving like a jilted woman?

This was too painful to read. Damn, what has happened to Singaporean guys of late?

[Plaedes]

thanks porscheclub.. getting there soon.