[birdie8819]

One Liners and Q & A

Don't imagine that you can change a man unless he is in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

You shut the door.

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they put a man on the moon - why can't they put them all there?

Tell him you are not his type - you have a pulse.

Never let your mans mind wander – it is too little to be let out alone.

Go for younger men – you might as well, they never mature anyway.

Men are all the same - they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

What's the difference between a man and a condom?
Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive.

What's the difference between a man and a bottle of whisky?
Whisky improves with age.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?
Because it is unused.

What do you call a man who has suddenly lost 98 percent of his brain?
Divorced.

What are the three types of men?
The handsome, the caring and the majority.

What's a man's ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

The ex buffoon made me promise that I wouldn't say that that actually happened to him, so I won't tell you.

What is a man?
A life-support machine for a penis.

I wanna be first to kiss the bride, no me, no me........

What should you do if your boyfriend starts smoking?
Slow down.